June 27, 2008 5:30 AM - 3:00 PM Course: THE BEACH Distance: 26 miles Members: Problem Chaild, Peter, Chris, Miguel "Sweeper/Tubs" Choi, Isaac
Hello again. Today we are proud to present to you our latest installment of the B4C summer adventures. Unfortunately, neither Jae nor Canada could make it on this adventure due to a horrid school known as "Elite". Everyone slept over at Chris's house the day before and got to bed at around 1:00 AM.
And now, for the pictures. Enjoy.
5:30 AM ? Dedication. Dcha and Sweeper. Heading out from the Jeong residence. TIRES IN. (only B4Cers would understand.)
Hence, we embarked on our incredible excursion to the Pacific. Our route? Take the road for approximately 10 miles; predominantly Malvern and Kraemer, to the Santa Ana River, a colossal concrete snake slithering across Orange County (also where we attempted (and failed)) a previous adventure; see below), and ride downstream for 15 miles until we reach the deep blue ocean under the open sky oh my baby i'm tryin' (Lucky is one hell of a song.) PROBLEM CHAILD. Popped his tire @ Malvern and Gilbert Never fails to produce wonderful problems for us. Everyone bummed that Pano's back tire couldn't handle his big butt.
We rode on and on from Fullerton to Placentia to Anaheim and finally to the river, which we shared with numerous walkers, bikers, and bums. Yes, bums. They apparently live there. Maybe they use the water. Which is sick, because it's all the drain water. Also, we made a profound discovery: road bikers are substantially friendlier than asshole mountain bikers. (Being part of the general mountain biking public, the asshole part does not apply to us.) This was not included on the previous post, because we were too fat and lazy to write anything, but last time, Problem Chaild's tire popped and we were repairing his bike directly on the trail, unfortunately getting in the way of other mountain bikers, not knowing any better, and several lovely mountain bikers come roaring across our way, see us, and express their disdain by shaking their heads. One gentleman was especially eloquent in displaying his disgust, as he passed by us and commented, "fucking morons." That's when we finally decided that mountain bikers are--hm, what's the word--ASSHOLES. Of course, it WAS partly our (or problem chaild's) fault that we were in the way. Anyway, road bikers are--well, nice. Many of them greeted us without us greeting them. Usually we would greet mountain bikers first. Half of them wouldn't say anything. But this time, if we said hello, they said hello, and sometimes they said hello first, like previously stated. One gentleman was especially friendly, as he rode alongside us and conversed for a while. He helpfully told us how long and how far we had to go. Turns out he's from Yorba Linda, is biking there AND back, and does it every weekend. And he works at HB, so sometimes he just bikes to work. Nice guy. Oh, another demographic, female bikers are mean little bitches. "Morning!" "..." Keeps riding, doesn't even look. Bitch.
So everything went smoothly after the tire pop until we saw this: Huge Penis at the Santa Ana River. Pit Stop. "It's funny how we see a penis and decide to take a pit stop." -Mr. Broom-
Pass the Arizona Cha-tistic
B4C Newbie Isaac Yang. Arrowhead Pond.
Pics of the Sweeper. In case you guys are wondering what that means.. so basically you find the slowest and most inferior rider of the group and you give him "special tasks" like running errands or something. Also you have to take large amounts of cool pictures of the sweeper in order to make him feel special. They are usually always in the back of the pack due to their lack of stamina or strength hence the name, Sweeper.
Bigmouthfuls.com Huzzah! The Angels Stadium. Honda Car Dealer A train in the distance.
Another pic of the weiner.
So basically let me explain how this disaster happened. A little game started while we were on the trail.. one of us would speed up, pass another B4Cer, slap them on the ass, then yell something and bone out. Well everything was going fine until Miguel and Chris crashed. There was a little heated argument and Mig got a huge cut but in the end all was good. A golf course to the left of the trail. also where Pano fell in the dirt. "Who the hell would go golfing here it's a piece of shit."
Bridges were fun to ride across.
Chris slipped in the sewer waters and got a cut mixed with sewage. So, basically there's the actual river, and the river trail. The river trail runs on the side, above the river. We went down for fun. Chris screwed around in the little ditch and did a "Wanted slide" -Pano. And got filthy water all over him. Yum. Alcohol to stop the risk of infection. QQ. Pano is angry at you. He wants. cock. In his mouth. now. Another view of the sweeper's wound. The Medic Double whammy Chris got to the beach first with the Red Menace.
Useless pictures Peter in second with the Poopplantation (they traded)
Problem Cha in 3rd with the Fist of God. Newb in 4th. Canadian lent him the White Fang. Miguel never showed up. Some beach pics.
Aerial view. Myspace Shot. Haha a couple of seconds after I took this picture the lifeguard came up to the tower. The wait for the sweeper. Still waiting. Beach ball. Peter picked it up and it turns out it was a nesting ground for birds or something. Box People. These guys collect eggs or something. very amusing to watch.
Turns out that Sweeper took a wrong turn on a one way road so he never arrived. We met him up and decided to park at Pier 8 right next to the factory that everyone sees when the go to the beach. We dug a little hole and placed the propane-cooking-machine into it. In the background you see Peter "washing the dishes" which was essentially cleaning dirty spoons and cans in the ocean water. White Fang staring thoughtfully into the ocean, reminiscing about his former companion, Canada, and his firm, tender booty. Oh yes. It's grub time. We made this little contraption to store our clean utensils to shield them from the sand. Oh, and did we ever tell you that sand is annoying? Cause it is. Funny thing. That can of Campbell's Chunky Soup that Problem Cha brought along was 6 YEARS expired. Thats right. it expired in 2002. Anyways, we cleaned out the can and used it as a pot for our ramyun. Suprisingly enough, a WHOLE ramyun package can fit into that can quite comfortably. Newb grubbing it out. The ramyun we used. Supplied by Dcha. The cooking goods. This guy ate almost all of our food. What a fat. Peter AKA Bear Grylls. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Sweepers always get first bites. Unfortunately due to the previous fall, Miguel was unable to join us in our swim. He took the pics. Also we found that football. Hey, wasn't this fine young man in a previous update of ours? Yes.
.. ..No comment. Actually, he took this picture himself. Definition of a true sweeper. Well after about an hour and a half of swimming, we decided to head back. Unlocking the mystery of the bus route. Still. Still. Hoorah the bus has arrived! #29. Unfortunately, only 2 bikes can be mounted onto the front of the bus so we had to split up.
Well, thats it! We had completed our journey. All of our blood, toil, tears and sweat had culminated into one sole determination: to get to the beach. And we did it. 4 CHRIST, of course.
The day started off with Chris and David meeting on their way to Pet er's house. They arrived at about 7:30 and then had to wait for Pano to get his bike. By that time it was already 8 and as we were about to leave Daniel "Problem child" Cha's tire popped. Then Miguel called in and we decided to meet up. During the course Problem Child's tire popped yet again so we made a pitstop at a bike shop and got it fixed. Then as we were about to ride the best part of the trail, the tire just couldn't handle Pano's butt weight and popped again. Then we decided to split at the end and go on our way home. We were too tired to do a full update with witty captions so without further ado, the pictures!
B4C Official Report May 23, 2008 4:00PM-7:00PM Course: The Santa Ana River Distance: N/A
This might have seemed like a failure, but for us Adventurers, it
was nothing more than another adventure. We never lost hope until the very end. We ARE
B4C, and we BOAT FOR
CHRIST. On the way back... Peter: "Dude, I'm so sad man I was so pumped for this..." Miguel: "It's okay young Peter, What's the point of adventures if we always succeed?" Peter: "Hey dude... you're right!" Daniel: "Man, fuck you Miguel you didn't even go in the water..."
B4C Official Report May 10,
2008 12:00PM-6:00PM Course: The Fullerton Loop (With
a little extra) Distance: ?
After a long
hiatus, B4C has been reborn (like Jesus). We our proud to share our
most recent excursion with you. B4C has been dead for almost two years.
We're back, bitches.
First we met up at Peter's
house. Then, due to the absence of a camera to photographically capture
our journeys, we made a short stop at Chris Jeong (no
manners)'s house.
Hanging
out. Jae getting ready to get f'ed in the ass.
Jae
Money and the Maroon
Quest Deeply satisfied.
Dankiel
Chanator and the Grey
Goose (complete with yellow beak) Canada (sucks) and the reincarnated
White
Fang
Pathetically
tired Daniel after 5 minutes of biking.
BICYCLES
WATCH DANIEL'S BIG ASS
Save
Coyote Hills
David: "That dog is
hot" Peter: WTF?!
ChRiS
tEaRiN uP sOmE...
I didn't know what to say he was
tearing up. Chris says, "PUSSAY"
Down
by the lake
Big
man on big horse "Come
on, guys, we can't lose to the fat people!" B4O-Bike
for Obesity Our
motto for the trip- "Two roads diverged in a yellow
wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one
traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I
could To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair, And having
perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted
wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn
them really about the same.
And both that morning
equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way
leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come
back.
I shall be telling this with a
sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads
diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled
by, And that has made all the
difference."
A Conversation
That Happened Right Now (Not on the trip. Now, like now
now.) Daniel:
Dude, my athlete's foot got worse David: Wait. Do you even
play a
sport? (silence)
Flash the peace sign.
